Obedient Fear

Obedient Fear

Do the thing that scares you

Look into the eyes of grace

And go where you dreamed on your darkest night

Do the thing that you haven’t been able to hear

For fears heartbeat pounding loudly in your ear

Are you where you want to be

Or sitting on your hands

Afraid of the clenched fist that they might become

Do the thing that scares you

Learn to love, with grace and forgiveness and trust

Do the thing that scares you.

And He who breathes heavenly hope into our hearts will not deceive or fail us when we press forward toward its realization. ~Streams in the Desert 3.26.~

Let me just say that 2015 has started off weird, not bad, just weird.  Namely I am sensing change is needed and realizing that most times that requires that I get up and do something about whatever is going on in my life.  Granted there are times life changes everything for you and there is very little you can do but hold on and enjoy the ride, but sometimes, sometimes the change most certainly starts when you confront that part of you that’s been scared of the great big what if sitting in the room.  And the following thought has been my diving board to the deep end of the pool.

Do the thing that scares you, the thing you look at wish could be apart of your resume of life.

I do not know how to quilt or really sew for that matter. Up until two weeks ago the last thing I had sewn of significance was a placemat project with my Aunt Ardene. I was trying to raise money for basketball trip overseas and hiring myself out for odd jobs. She decided it was time for me to learn to sew and that my first project would be learning the Lincoln log quilting pattern (it is every bit as ridiculous as it sounds).

(photo credit http://madlibster.blogspot.com/2013/05/alphabet-quilt.html)

Yup, that is it right there, each of those is a separate piece of fabric that has been cut out and then sewn together. I am pretty sure I heard brain cells exploding when she sat me down in front of the machine to start the whole thing.

Anyhow for each one of the completed squares (the above pattern is one square and mine were a little bigger) she would pay me $0.25, so basically it was the beginning of indentured servitude. I finished 4 squares, enough for one placemat (you are welcome Thompson family reunion) and then begged her for anything else to do, like scrubbing toilets. So she cut me loose and Melissa somehow got roped into doing the project and I decided that I would never ever sew again… ever.

Flash forward 15 years, I decided to try something that scared me quit frankly. You see Aunt Ardene was something of an artist, she painted with fabric, yes it was a blanket, a quilt, by all logical definitions, but art tends to defy both logic and definition, because it tugs at emotions that you were unaware of running beneath the still and silent surface. In the back of my mind I didn’t want to mess with memories happy, sad, or otherwise but I looked at my Mom and showed her some pictures of patchwork couches and said ‘Do you think we could do this?’

Do the thing that scares you.

What’s the worse thing that could happen, it wouldn’t look good? At least I could say I tried.

It is so easy to guard myself by the boundaries of things that scare me, it’s safe, I don’t get scars, you know those pesky emotional ones, especially when I stick only with what I know.

Do the thing that scares you.

It keeps echoing in my head, like a mantra I have been unaware of up until now because the pounding of my heart has been hiding this very simple truth, I am made of much more than I know.

Thursday

Thursday

the air is crisp this morning

the light of the November sun

is slowly finding its way through

the trees

as they stretch their limbs

and shake off their misty blankets

in the silence, O Lord, my soul waits

it’s easy to praise

Sunday and Friday

but come Monday

I’ve already walked away

trying to please a world that doesn’t want me

placed in the gap between

death and hope

and fear of the unknown

so come Thursday

my shoulders slump

my spirit sags

and I crave distraction from my ever failing self

Father God, help my unbelief

steadfast

your steadfast love

you are still

Comfort in my Sorrow

the Great Healer

Peace in the storm

How little I think of you Thursday

trying to gut

my way

trying to shove

my way through the day

when with You

in You

through You

In the silence, O Dear Lord, my soul waits

Abba Father God, help my unbelief

{Senior Jamie}

It was a warm day at Tower Grove, but unlike last year the leaves were still managing to hold their color with pride.  I had a fun time capturing this young ladies smile.  She kept saying, ” I don’t know what to do”… she’s got it figured out if you ask me.

 

{ Save the Date Kevin + Christina }

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon and our original plans kind of got washed out, but being adventurous people we all just piled in the car and headed down to Union Station.  The results speak for themselves.  Congratulations Kevin and Christina, thanks for letting me document a fun day for you guys.

{Henry.Craven.Wedding}

Mardis Gras, those two words bring a lot of mental images into a persons mind, mostly beads, hurricanes and parts of the human anatomy.  So when I was asked if I would consider shooting pictures of a wedding happening at Mardis Gras I really didn’t know what to expect but being one always game for an adventure I agreed…. It was an absolute blast, Mr. Henry and Katrina owned the day and the parade legitimately felt like it was just for them.  Even if we did have to hijack a bus, shove Katrina and her Tinker Bell dress into a porta-potty, run down Broadway to catch up with the truck leading our party, and throw a few thousand beads at some very inebriated people.  Congratulations you two crazy kids and thanks for sharing the day with me and everyone in Soulard.