My gramma sighed and stared out the window through the cottonwood branches and said to me, ‘Somedays I have to choose to love that man.’ I had been sitting next to the bed for about an hour, semi-oblivious to any tension and it caught me off guard. They had been married for 40+ years, seen good years, lean years, family filled years, years of watching their own child fade in front of them. I had never known them to be anything but a cohesive unit, yet here she lay her own body beginning to deny her continuation of an earthly existence and she tells me love is a choice.
This conversation replayed in my mind while listening to my friends discuss what it looks like to glorify God in everything not just those two hours at church. When I’m driving, mowing the lawn, washing the dishes, in everything what does that even look like.
Glorifying God, it’s a complicated thought with a terribly beautiful answer and it returns me to that one word I as a human have struggled with from the first moment I realized I had a free will, obediance. My obediance to his commands glorifies my God, its the christian four letter word with 9 letters.
But what command, the first 10? I am left thinking that those are all encompassed in the new command Christ gave us before, dieing for us
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Seems simple enough, until you look at what he is really saying, the Creator washing creations feet. Stepping into that gap where the loving of the unlovable is as honest of a response as breathing, yet the problem lies in the fact that I am inheritantly selfish.
Looking back at that moment and at that conversation with my gramma, I am finally realizing what she was saying. She was apologizing for her own selfish love in that moment stepping out of herself and understanding there was a greater love here, because Christ came for us all. And though I believe and though she believed, the truth is I make idols of my own love and Christ will break me of myself until the new commandment can be breathed out fully of me because it is soley of him.
Love one another, just as I have loved you.
It is the kind of love that is a visible result of an unseen power.
I have grown up most of my life watching the effects of the wind on the northern plains. You can never see her, but you are always aware of the change she brings. I have watched knee high wheat be laid flat, an eagle soar never beating his wings, the snow drift and be carved into temporary white dunes, the clouds move and dance to the a melody I will never hear.
Yes I am very aware of the wind and can scientfically explain it, but I can never see it, just the effect that it has on the world around me.
It is how Jesus explained the Holy Spirit to Nicademous, when reborn in the Holy Spirit change will happen, irreversable change, change that I will never be able to explain but will be there none the less, change that glorifies the creator.
The wheat of my heart will be laid flat, the clouds of my soul will dance, and change I am completely incapable of on my own will take fruit because of the Holy Spirit residing in my being. A part of the tri-une God living and working and changing me. The Kingdom is here, the Glory is His, the time has always been now.
He left me with a command to cover it all, love one another, just as I have loved you.